your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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