do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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