would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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