Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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