he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
