Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
