i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize