There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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