Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize