smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
