I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
