Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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