so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
