When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
