he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
