Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You ruined the universe
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
