matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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