we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
