thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
No subtext here. People are naked.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
