so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
