Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
