OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my mouth tastes like poor choices
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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