the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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