Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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