guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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