I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
