Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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