her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
