Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
