she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
