How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
