Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
