I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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