K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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