I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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