3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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