After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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