dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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