God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
