You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize