you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
