every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
