Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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