where am i from again
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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