is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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