people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
