She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
