Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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