When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
