allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
