how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
