its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
