What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
