i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
