I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
