If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
