I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
