After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize