she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
