My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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