Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
